I’m guessing it’s been a long time….

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Making Money $150 An Hour

ok so i’ve been thinking about this for awhile so this is far too long probably. i think that sometimes people assume you are a fellah because you possess a certain swagger and confidence, a way of walking, an assuredness. like george clooney or james dean, or a young brando. i think people associate this with dudes, largely without even realizing it, which is why people also often get really embarrassed when you talk or they actually a look at you and realize you’re a lady. i imagine this also happens a lot to kd lang in the old days when she was a biker. this is pretty crummy in a way though, that there is an internalized physicality to being socialized as a lady that means if we have a certain level of confidence and sexy swagger, people assume we are a dude.

i think you’re right about the self-selecting/sitting out, especially at folks dances and among older folks. i think young ladies might feel comfortable/happy to dance together no matter their sexuality.

and i think it will diffuse, a lot, and to some degree already has. my grandparents’ various reactions to your delightful and excellent mohawk and cummerbund (whoah-i totally thought it was spelled cumberbun) at our wedding show this, that they were at first perhaps a little surprised but then mellow and amenable. hopefully this is the larger trend, anyways.

all this being said, that place we went with anna a long time ago, oilcan harry’s in studio city, still has line dancing. perhaps we can go when you and sb come out? i imagine there they just call “lead”, but this truly is what all dance places should do-i agree w/ sb for sure on that.

yes, there *is* a particular breed of non-socialized older man who always becomes scrawny. many of them are my relatives….

second, i so would have responded to the situation you outline in the way that s did. and you so would have had to talk me down.

third, thank you for being so thoughtful about this.

last, i used a men’s room last night in union sq because the light was out in the ladies room. i went in, closed the door to the stall and left the urinals free as they ever were. next, a LINE of men formed outside because none of them were willing to come in and pee while i was in there WITH THE DOOR CLOSED. so they can urinate while standing next to each other, but not with a door between me and them? pfft.

I don’t think I’m always for rule-following, but in circumstances where you’re a part of a larger project and you believe in that project (why were these grumps working on this? I guess that’s another question), you have to follow the rules for the most part.

I’m sure there are a million examples where you don’t have to. Ohwells.

in any case, stella will, at the very least, live on in your memory.

in school, we sometimes got blank rolls back if we didn’t get the little notches on the film exactly into the right place in the camera, so if the film doesn’t catch and keep clicking over, the film might have never gotten exposed…or maybe a gremlin? dang katerli, i really really hope the stella the giraffe pictures are safe and sound!! i am so sad!

similar moment of sadness-i took all these what-may-have-been-great photos of alex and stacy making galettes and crepes in berkeley, and now i cannot find that roll of film :( this is but one of many times i have lost rolls. at least you managed to hold on to the roll like a responsible grown-up!

it shouldn’t be the fault of leaving it in unregulated temps though – if anything it just might make the colors a little weird. the one month travelling a few years back, i had film everywhere from the heat and humidity of italy to the dry cold of belgium, and it was ok. so it shouldn’t be that.

fingers crossed fingers crossed!!